Beltaine Blessings

Beltaine was always my favourite Wiccan Sabbatt, and I have such fond memories of celebrating it with my mother. For everyone that does celebrate may you have a wonderful time. Since I don't follow the Wiccan path anymore, I won't be doing a ritual but I have spent time thinking about what Beltaine marks and celebrates. Excellent time for fertility rituals ;)

Am enjoying day 2 of 4 lovely days off together due to a re-furb at work, come at a good time since my cold seems to have re-surfaced. Started planning our trip to London for Ibard's birthday next month, should be lots of fun, also kinda busy since we have managed to pick the time when kids will be off school, therefore also read more expensive...clever hotel people. When we went away in January we got a fab late deal off the internet at a 5* hotel for £60, the room was supposed to be £300, oooo and there was a pool. This time when we go I want us to catch a show, would love to see Wicked. We both read the book just recently and loved it.

The new cats are doing well, they're both curled up either side of my leg on the sofa napping......they look so cute when they're sleeping, makes you foget they're like expert escape artists....tellin ya these cats are genuises or something, they can open windows themselves!!!Takes em a while....but still, and probably all paws between them.

Thank you to everyone who's been visiting and adding to Within's forums (see side link), some good posts are starting to come up again.

We're Back!

After, well, forever, we're back online!! With moving again, and stuff has taken some time to get a phone line put in and get broadband. So...since it's been a while, I'll quickly update you on what's been going on. We moved into a 2 bedroom house nearer to my work and in the city, is great having space and being close to everything. Ooooo, and coupla weeks ago we got 2 kitties, Avalon and Morgana, sooo cute (as you can see), they're sisters.

Now that we're back online I am getting my website back up and running. I have missed doing all my site stuff and chatting with everyone. Work's going well, everything is going well.

Morning on the bridge

An experience:

Here I stand on a stone bridge at seven o’clock on a misty winter’s morning. Looking out over the river. I am surrounded on all sides by a thick curtain of fog. My world, alone, intruded upon only infrequently by a passing car. Grey night turns to day as the car approaches, the piercing headlights illuminating my solitary universe. Then all turns to sunset as it passes, the red tail-lights completing one short day. The metallic hum and roar of this artificial sun grow distant quickly in this blanket of fog, soon out of hearing as if it had never passed this way, returning me to my private island of night and my own thoughts.

My mind soon slows as I stand shrouded in this personal world, apart from the everyday reality. All troubles and distractions seem distant and removed. I use this feeling of calm detachment to meditate. Here on this bridge feeling the low cloud above me and the river below, letting their flows ease my mind into a calm state. A great feeling of peace and quietude comes to me. Thus I stay for some time until the outside world catches my attention once more.

I look about myself at this normal setting turned beautiful through the medium of fog. The street lights float in the sky as balls of luminous cloud. The river lies still as ice whilst the mist rolls over like water. The silhouette of trees is pierced by rays of light which trace paths of fire through the smoky air. The air itself is still and I hear no rustling in the trees. In fact, I hear no sound at all from the ducks I know live under the bridge, neither do I hear distant cars on their way to work, alarm clocks waking people to their day nor even any of the number of morning people who are out and about at this time delivering papers and milk or cleaning the streets.

This world has stopped. My breathing, the rustle of my clothes and my footsteps are the only sounds in existence. I feel as if this whole world is a dream, something illusory which we choose to live in and experience so as to learn and grow.

My breath fogs in front of me and I realise that I am cold. Yet I do not feel deadened or numbed by this cold, rather invigorated, renewed. The damp air has settled on me, washing me clean, waking me up to the reality of this world once again. Sensation reminds us that we are alive and that we exist for a reason so I shall go back into the world and live but carry this knowledge and feeling of otherness within me.

Old -> New

K'UN - The Receptive

"Bear with things as the earth bears with us: by yielding, by accepting, by nourishing."

Yule - Shortest day; longest night. The beginning of the return.

Darkness - light rising. A turning point of the year. Time to plan for the future. What will be?

Old -> New

It seems that things that had been planned are no longer the plan. Things change and so must we. The plan may have been a stepping stone or a guide for what may be. Symbolic rather than actual. Now is the time to flow, accept and steer cautiously.
Holding on to a past Idea will only cause suffering and misery. Graciously accepting the way things are will allow you to live fully and make what you can with what you have.

Quote: Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. - Theodore Roosevelt

Live life now. There is no other time.

Blogs, Writing and All

"Blogging 'set to peak next year'

The blogging phenomenon is set to peak in 2007, according to technology predictions by analysts Gartner.

The analysts said that during the middle of next year the number of blogs will level out at about 100 million.

The firm has said that 200 million people have already stopped writing their blogs."

BBC NEWS

Reading that makes me have to write something to show myself that i am not bored .. just really busy..

What with my Lady here and lots of gifts to buy plus work and sleep, leaves little time for me to write reflections upon life and my day.
And yet that article has spurred me on.
Good for them:)

Have recently joined The Writers Bureau and am all excited about it.
Another thing to fill my time up with! It will, however, mean i must practive writing more. Therefore i shall be updating this blog under the guise of study.

Have been thinking about this world and how it is perfect in its imperfections. How it makes complete sense in its paradoxes:)
Understanding these unknowable things is the trick ...

Feeling the unthinkable,
Ballancing opposites,
Uniting sepparates,
All is one.

Or we could just go and watch TV..... Stop these disturbing thoughts, i want to get off the round-a-bout.

All or nothing. Take your pick.

Update

Ok I have been slack on my blog.....
A whole hoast of things have happened and I have been busy living rather than writing about it but now i have a spare half hour to put a few things down for anyone who still reads this!

Not sure i have much of a readership but still ... This blog is for my benefit aswell.

Ok since last I wrote I have hada great night out with Adriana where we met "Minty".
He is a psychic medium and very interesting to talk to.
A little bit of drama when all the lights in the house went out and we had to fumble around in the dark with fuses and candles:)
A day where I was in charge of my department... Everything went well... no big problems.
Shopping. Worrying about Presents for people.. Getting back to Work.
And fun with trains and busses which seem to disregard timetables.
Adriana has started her new job and it sounds that there is a lot to organise but she gets to call all the shots and do it her way which, listening to her talk about how the place was run, it really needs.

I haven't been checking the site much or chatting on MSN either ... but if you had as great a girl as i do, i think you would be a little lax in that department aswell.

OK thats my update for now.. catch you round.

Adriana Land

Am writing this now so I don't get all hassled for being a lazy blogger before He comes home:) Y'know what though? If I was someone else watching me just recently I'd feel sick. It is kinda sickly when someone is so happy and in love (shhh). It's funny how perfectly everything has worked out, but I think when things are 'right' then everything else just fits how it should, things shouldn't have to be difficult. Had been here like 5 days (including the weekend may I add) and I got offered the job I really wanted, which was as it turns out was the first job I applied for. Get to be a Manager now instead of Assistant Manager, can't wait. So, I start that on Wednesday, will be nice to get a routine, don't think I'd be much good at playing housewife somehow, I need to be stimulated through my job as much as through other things :) Saying that though, I have been enjoying having lil afternoon naps.

So far have not got lost, though I feel that buildings keep moving, I misplaced the post office this morning. I was wondering the other day when..../if..... things would hit me, all this change, new place, new everything, new life, but it feels right. It feels like I've been here for ages actually, arriving from the train just a week ago seems craziness.

Now that I've done an update post your scheduled programme of occult type posts will re- commence, wether you appreciate it or not:)

Also, blatant plugging, but seriously, come and visit this friendly occult community of mine.

Structure

Yesterday my Lady went for her interview and today she got the job!

- Much rejoicing -

Also today i picked up my diary after almost a week ... it wasn't ammused at the break in entries... * feels guilty*

I have ben given some topics to write about today .. Structure/ Habit/ Discipline.

Now, structure is - The interrelation or arrangement of parts in a complex entity: political structure; plot structure.

Considering your self as a "complex entity" anything you learn or experience becomes a part of you. It is how you relate these new things to the whole of yourself which gives rise to the structure and ultimately the person you are.
When learning anything new i think the process is Learn, Know, Understand, Become.
Become is the stage where it is fully a part of you.
Habit is something that is done without thought. Something which is a part of you, something that you have become.

Many people put a negative tint on the word Habit but there can be many good habits, otherwise known as customs if socially imposed or practices if good personal traits.

Habits however may become necesities, addictions or unhealthy compulsions. Which brings us to Discipline. You are the Master (or Mistress) of your own mind and what you say is Law. What you put in you get back out. If you train yourself with a good solid groundwork of basics before shooting for the moon you will be far less likely to come crashing back down again. Also, after crashing, with the basics in place you are more able to understand and deal with the fall out.

Normal...

Ok what is normal?

The dictionary says normal is - Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical: normal room temperature; one's normal weight; normal diplomatic relations.

So normal is conforming to a norm ... very helpful!

Norm - A standard, model, or pattern regarded as typical: the current middle-class norm of two children per family.

So normal is conforming to a pattern regarded as typical...

Typical - Exhibiting the qualities, traits, or characteristics that identify a kind, class, group, or category: a typical suburban community.

So normal is conforming to the qualities, traits or characteristics of a group.

From that no-one can be "normal" they have to be a normal *something*

Unless you imply i am normal to mean i am a normal person ....
which opens up a whole other bag of questions ....
What is a normal person?

The answer given will probably be "Me"

Link: Beat Government Censorship!
This sounds cool ... but i wonder if the computer leting people access the rest of the net will be vunerable from those using it ...

You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already. In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth. Buddhism 92% Islam 83% Satanism 75% Hinduism 67% Paganism 58% agnosticism 42% Judaism 29% Christianity 25% atheism 21% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Hehehehe a Buddhist/islamic/satanist :)

Oh, One more thing : FreeCycling!

Anyone else think this is the best solution to landfill?
We should have it everywhere.

Ok better go ... am getting mobbed by someone desperate to read this! :P

Randomness

Having been brought up with a strong influence of paganism and magick, at least on my mothers side it's interesting when contrasting stories of childhood to those who had a 'normal' upbringing. The most influential aspect for me was the Goddess influence, being raised knowing about Her. When I was growing up aspects of womanhood were always explained in a sacred context. It's such a shame how women generally tend to regard their cycles negatively and I wonder if many women would have the same gynaelogical health issues that seem to be so common now if they were able to view their bodies in a positive, sacred way.

I am aware that my mum held back a fair amount though, due to the general stigma surrounding occultism, especially when you add children into the mix, it suddenly becomes a cult case and child abuse. But, the influence and knowledge I was given has been much appreciated, and when I have children I would like to be able to show the same belief options. Also to teach about the natural environment, the wheel of the year and festivals seperate to the Christians ones.

Onto regular news stuff, am all moved in now :) Got an interview on Wednesday, and hopefully this week to chill which is much needed after the month I've had. Would love to be able to write more about this weekend, but it's pretty much not appropriate, suffice to say it's been amazing, and I'm happy.

Wonderful weekend

*crawls from bed*
*gets to computer*
We have had a wonderful weekend together and the best thing about it is that my Lady is not going home tomorrow!
She is already home:)

Prety much everything else has gone out of the window this weekend. Should get back to Work.
Should keep on top of this blog too.. don't want to be like Adriana and let it slide:P
Ok enough for now ..maybe some more later.

One Day!

Ok tomorrow my Lady moves in .....

- Scene Deleted -

I'm sure you didn't want to see me running around shouting all crazy like ...

I can't wait.
I haven't been thinking about much else recently.
Work - progressing slowly.
Job - interesting developments ... all hush hush atm ... ;)
Studies - Have been reading up on Teamwork and building teams recently, looking at it from a few different angles. Will post some of my thoughts when i can eventually collect them and stop thinking about other things ..

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!
- Wren and Stimpy

Nothing Much..

Almost died of laughter earlier...
Monkeysforhelping
The video titled "Rat Shoot Rangers" had me laughing so much i could hardly breathe...
See what you think ... *Bookmarks the page*

Other than that it's been quite a quiet day.

Tower and God particle

I think ths is going to be a short blog .. i have been on a late evening shift and have litle time to the deadline!

So, first up ... Woke up to the sound of a chan-saw .. most disconcerting!
Now we have one less tree in the back garden.

*quietly mourns for the loss of the tree*

But it was getting too dominant and cutting of the light to the other plants ..

Drew the Tower to contemplate today .. most fitting

All things pass and are reborn anew .. destruction heralds re-growth

Link:Scientists look for God
I find this stuff fascinating ..how matter is created from energy and how these exotic particles affect the universe but are undetectable...
Simply fascinating.

Mentors...Motivation and Going The Distance

Was having a think about Orders recently and the hopes that many pin upon joining a group. Everyone in the beginning has lovely ideas of what a group may involve if they have been solitary, and many look upon a group as giving them knowledge, rather than them eventually acquiring it through the Work. Often is the case where there are some members who are not your 'cup of tea' either. I've heard various occultists say different things on that point on both sides of the coin, either work with them-you're not going to like everyone and it is part of the process, or find a group that fits you, you shouldn't have to work with those you don't like. Either are good answers, and some could go endlessly from group to group trying to find the 'perfect' one, or perhaps they just start their own ;)

But the point is, there is one I promise, is we often place hopes upon external influences and then take a knocking when it doesn't quite work out. That's life and all that business, but in the occult world does it make some turn their backs? How about mentors, it seems the same type of circumstances to me as groups, expecting something from another, not realising that the real Work is done alone. That is a pretty lonely realisation, occult life can be very lonely, no one has the same path as you, yours is always a little different, but when you meet someone or people who share the same interests then it can be pretty special, just watch the egos though :)

When the things you placed hopes upon don't work out, how do you stay motivated? For me, when I have had a situation where I've left something behind I've set up a new structure, usually with more in it, being aware that it can be easy to just be in a lull. The experience of leaving a group can be bad enough, and can have all sorts of feelings attached to it, feeling lost in yourself isn't one worth adding to the mix. Then when you look back a little while after you can re-evaluate, but throwing yourself into your Work at the time can be comforting, and it starts to take little twists and turns of its own, smoothing out a new path.

And here's a lil quiz:

You scored as Violent. You are violent. To you there is nothing better than a good spank. You like scratching and biting 'cause that's what people are for. Violent 100% Hot 94% Soft 63% Wet 63% Exciting 31% Sweet 25% Shy 13% Awkward 0% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

The World is Mental!

Ok a few links to start off:
Funny sketch of interview
This actually made me fall of my chair!

Phones cause ear dammage!
I'm sure we have all had this happen at one time or another and now its a medical thing!
Patient: Hey, Doc, My ear heeps ringing.
Doctor: Oh, what does it sound like?
Patient: *Hums Nokia tune*

One cool free dl site
Now this site looks prommising and the more people that g there the better it becomes .. Free Tech!! Gotta love it:)

A Great Calvin and Hobbes strip
What can i say ... Calvin and Hobbes rule.

Also on that Found Site


Is beautiful pic .. makes me think of The Fool card ; Innocence on the path

Talking about Tarot:
Link
Link
A Quick look at the Knight of Swords ... my card:)

I have recently been thinking about thinking ... hehehehe a circular sentence if ever i saw one.

But, the more you think of something the more you see it. The more you focus on things the mopre they appear in your life.. Worrying about lack of money will assuredly mean that you will be strugling for money. Insulting and looking down on other people, even only mentaly, will cause more people to get on your nerves and anger you.

The thoughts you have affect the world. The more you concentrate on them the stronget the effect.

Why? I remember reading somewhere the phrase "The World is Mental" which made me laugh so much .. imagining the world running around in a straight jacket ... but seriously the world is made up of the same stuff as us and it's basis is ..... thought energy..Ok we cannot understand all that information directly so we have filters and symbols and a way of percieving the world that we can relate to... But the more we understand, then the more we can see.

This sea of information can be called the astral plane or the Dreaming or a host of other names but it all ammounts to the same thing. Our thoughts are part of the curent and therefore affect the whole.
So next time you have something you want to do think about the goal and sollutions. Don't focus on the problems because if you do then you will end up hitting one wal after another and the biggest irony is ... You put them there!

Goal/Deadline

Note to self - I want an answer to life the universe and everything bu the end of next week. And don't give me any of that 49 crap from hitch-hikers!

Giving yourself a goal and setting a deadline is one of the most effective ways of making something happen. Methods used to achieve that end are ... endless and some work better than others but on the whole the main framework is the goal/deadline.

Although, sometimes, the goal can be an open ended one.
Goal: write this blog
Deadline: 12 midnight

Yee gads! how long? quick write some spraff about anything. what anything? I don't know just write dammit!!
People are depending on you! aaarrghh .. too much pressure!! gonna snap ...
Ach hold on there sonny jim you can take it ... just buckle up your safety pen and get to it.

Ok sorry... A momentary lapse in sanity ... doesn't happen often .. honest ..
Ooohhh a link : Random Note
Just makes me chuckle .. found in Homeymoon haven ... priceless

Appart from that the day has been strange .... day off work due to illness...
studying and practicing a bit of stuff..
Phone chat and funky stuff on the web ..

Yup theres the deadline gotta go .. don't want to miss the boat... I should really put more thought into these posts :)

Fire!

Someone has been playing with their paint programme..

At last

Today I actually have a day off, a day off that does not involve car trips to fetch furniture from the old house, sitting on hold on the phone speaking to people to sort out addresses and new details, or unpacking and re-arranging. Have had a crazy week at work, almost 50 hours, and am pretty much shattered, but did get a nice lie in today. I'm glad I have less than a week before I leave, wanting to be somewhere else really makes a girl impatient. I was never very good at patience either. This weekend, am going to do some clever packing, a fair amount of my temple stuff is already there, but there are some bits left to take, I guess robes are not priority and can wait a month or so till all my stuff gets moved. I think a certain someone shall never have to buy occult/magick books again, reading mine will take quite some time I think:)

Hmmm, other things of interest....my interview has been moved a little, which works out much better, am now guaranteed a day or two to sort myself out and settle in, perhaps even unpack neatly so I don't create an area of chaos that seems to come so naturally.

Someone I know is getting initiated today.....and that brought me back round to pondering that subject, is a favourite of mine. I have had a fair number of initiations myself, and actually none of which were self-initiations which is possibly odd, not sure. So there more initiations someone has, does it change their treatment of it in terms of preparation? Personally, I am all for fasting before hand, and have done so on all my initiations. It is nice if it is possible to be alone as much as can be for a day or so prior. In any case, we have had some interesting topics of conversation this week, from serpents and kundalini, triangles, holy trinities, general symbolism and the 'taking' of an initiation. I think out of all the initiations I have had, the first was the most impactful on my life, my Craft initiation, it started out the path I walk today, and it initiated a Goddess connection. An interesting thing I noticed as well when reading through my magickal diaries, all my initiations have been around Midsummer.

On another note, don't do that personality disorder quiz Ibard put up, it is clearly wrong, I know for a fact I am perfectly normal, and my results were trying to say otherwise :)

Half way between here and the land of Nod

Today was busy busy busy.

then i had a nice chat with Chloe and Claire.
Then an even nicer bath in which i fell asleep.

In some ways i like this feeling of being almost dreaming but still awake..
In others though .. its hard to think straight when you are trying to write a blog... I suppose free association might be an intersesting experiment .. but possibly utter nonsense to anyone else reading ..
oooo downloaded a funky programme today : PhraseExpress

will be playing with that for some time i think
heres my first test :
Test!
Test!
Test!

This is a test!

Do not be allarmed!
hehehe

as for tests I did a little experiment thois morning which turned out quite well ... Will have to repeat and find outmore.

To sleep! perchance to dream:--ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
- Hamlet - Shakespeare

So goodnight to all and to all a good night ... where did that come from?