Reflections

When you've had one of 'those' weeks...it feels heavenly when your working week finishes and you're 'you' again, and you get a real chance to reflect....

Everything is exactly as it should be at any given moment.

Right now, in my life, I wouldn't change a thing. Sometimes, it feels odd to feel this way when I spent such a long time wanting for something else. It feels odd to think about what I was doing one year ago, and how ultimately 9 months ago things 'came together', with some Divine intervention.

I feel lucky.

Grace

I have been thinking about mystical experiences and Grace recently...
Grace as in divine love and protection.
Mystical experiences as in feelings of connectedness with everything.
The thought comes to me that the two can be the same.
I am also wondering if this is comparable to communion with your Holy Guardian Angel...
Perhaps
It, certainly to me, sounds like Samadhi.
I suppose Sahaj samadhi is more like Grace; the effortless and continual state of perfection.
How to attain?
Now thats the rub.

A bit of a Rant

Strange things from today:

• Setting up a wireless network for Adriana... Computers have to do things Their way...
• A Programme on Scientology which shows just how creepy they really are.
• The cats are hiding out in the flat instead of pestering us for fuss... I think something is going on there.
• The fact that I was ill form work today due to a major cold and had the wierdest dream of me and Adriana inheriting a night club... and having 2 great big black dogs that roamed about town.

The computer incident should be no surprise to me. I already know that they are alkward, no offence compy, and like to do things in computereese. But, still, I think that they should make them a little more understanding... Or maybe I should be? interesting point..

The scientology thing.. I can understand the lure of their "religeon". Mystery, promises of a better life and a purpose... Somethings that Magick and Esoteric paths also aim to fulfill

But to personally attack peoples character, trawl through their past and mud-sling anyone who doesn't agree with them is worying behaviour and hypocritical of a group that purports to purifying their spirits and becoming perfect..

Also, the ammount of money they generate from their followers seems ... greedy. I know market forces say that you charge what people are willing to pay but to be seen as a religeon should they not be more "giving".

Ok, they do turn up at any disaster/emergency to help out ... but how much of that is for PR and how much to recruit new members when they are feeling vunerable and scared...

It all comes back to the fact that they are "selling" insights, purpose and hidden knowledge which are readily and freely available elsewhere. Then when you are in you are more likely to accept anything they say as true and are distanced from the outside world.... very much like brain-washing to me..

Ach, too much of a rant I know but... I know there is something intrinsically wrong about scientology.

I suppose the words "Caveat Emptor" sum up what I am trying to say ... but the seller should be open about what their product is aswell.

Poly Paradise?

I used to think that not one person can be 'enough', especially over a long period of time in a relationship. Everyone has different aspects to their selves....and it used to seem that no one individual could compliment that long term. I changed my thinking on that, I have all I want with someone now. The idea though is certainly still very interesting to me.

It seems, and I could be wrong that polyamory is more prominent in the pagan community (I am including the majority of the occult community in pagan-there are those calling themselves 'mystic christians' who practice occultism heavily but don't get umbrellered in the term pagan, plus others). For some perhaps polyamory comes about in paganism as a side effect of their path, such as their partner not being apart of their new beliefs and finding someone to share them with, perhaps its from sex magick (though using sex magick as a means to get laid isnt what its all about, though it would be easy for boundaries to become blurred and eventually a love connection evolving), perhaps it's because pagans have 'got it' and polyamory really is the way to go, maybe pagans are generally more open to new ways of being, perhaps pagans are searching hardest of all.

I wonder if polyamory just stems from an unhappiness ultimately with the 'main' person you're with, and feeling unable to remove yourself from the situation for a variety of reasons, and then polyamory just 'suits' both parties well in those circumstances. I know a few people in rl who polyamory seems to work great for, and I know much more people online who do it. In the past I have wondered that perhaps they were just more emotionally developed people, on the other hand perhaps they're the most emotionally unstable. Who knows, I don't suppose it matters. But for those who polyamory really works for, the ones who are actually polyamorous (both partners knowledgable of this and not one person just having an affair and calling it so) and still have a wonderful loving relationship with their 'main' partner, I think that's great.

But...can you ever really find what you're looking for in another when it's within you along.

Article: Polyamory In The Pagan Community

Photograph by Rhonda Miller

Why Are You Here?

I have been thinking recently about Purpose.

Purpose in the sense of your direction in life. An ambition. A Will to achieve something.
Does this purpose come about nautrally in your life, chosen for you from birth, or is it chosen by you and then followed?
I suppose it doesn't really matter which it is as long as you have a goal and work out the ways to achieve it.
Without purpose life seems meaningless and without value. With one you have a sense of worth, importance and happiness that is independant of outside influences.

So what is my Purpose?
Why am I here?
What do I want?

I want to write for a living.

So what is stopping me? Fear.
Failure and the unknown.
The best way to beat these daemons? Act. Set goals. start small and work up. Know that i can and that the fear is illusory.

Ok, enough thoughts for now.

Some Time

Self-Explanation (ie. making excuses)

It has been a while since I last posted an entry on this site. In fact it has been a while since I did any writing except for a few entries in my RL diary.

Why? I could blame distractions, or work, or moving to a new flat in a new city. But the main reason is because I simply did not make time for it.
I know that no matter what the situations are, unless they are prety dire, you can always make time for blogging and catching up on the day.
I know I will miss the past few months of no entries when I look back on this blog. A short while ago we had a look through some of the older entries and the amount of memories that were triggered simply by reading my own thoughts at the time were astounding.
And that from a guy who has a selective memory. I did set out for this blog to be an aid to my memory and a think pad of my thoughts but with all tools they must be used to be useful.
Therefore, I shall start again.
There is no use trying to recap the last couple of months. Suffice to say all is well and things are, as always, great. :)

First entry in some time

Last weekend, sunday to be precise, I had my Reiki initiation. I am now a fledgling healer:) Practicing on myself and the cats and sometimes Adriana. The more I do, the better I get.

Had a wonderful Bank holiday. Went to see my mother and had a nice chat and catch up. Even the fact that the wind destroyed their gazebo/sun-shade didn't marr the day, just made it funny.
Met one of the fattest dogs on earth and tried to give it some exercise.
Had some craziness with "The Missing Pencil-sharpener"; much drama and divers alarums.
Now I have a niggling cold which A assures me is due to the initiation. Also following initiations can be more craziness etc.
Heh, talking of craziness, don't mention the butter!

On to the more spiritual side of things. I have been keeping up my reading and meditation. If there is one thing that a train commute is good for it's the opportunity to sit quietly with no distractions. I find it a little funny how so many people can sit in such a small space and Not-talk to each other. But then again this is Britain:)

Lastly, I have been trying to maintain the meditative state whilst going about my daily life. Harder than it sounds, but worth it i think.

Thats it for now. Take care and take it easy.