Structure

Yesterday my Lady went for her interview and today she got the job!

- Much rejoicing -

Also today i picked up my diary after almost a week ... it wasn't ammused at the break in entries... * feels guilty*

I have ben given some topics to write about today .. Structure/ Habit/ Discipline.

Now, structure is - The interrelation or arrangement of parts in a complex entity: political structure; plot structure.

Considering your self as a "complex entity" anything you learn or experience becomes a part of you. It is how you relate these new things to the whole of yourself which gives rise to the structure and ultimately the person you are.
When learning anything new i think the process is Learn, Know, Understand, Become.
Become is the stage where it is fully a part of you.
Habit is something that is done without thought. Something which is a part of you, something that you have become.

Many people put a negative tint on the word Habit but there can be many good habits, otherwise known as customs if socially imposed or practices if good personal traits.

Habits however may become necesities, addictions or unhealthy compulsions. Which brings us to Discipline. You are the Master (or Mistress) of your own mind and what you say is Law. What you put in you get back out. If you train yourself with a good solid groundwork of basics before shooting for the moon you will be far less likely to come crashing back down again. Also, after crashing, with the basics in place you are more able to understand and deal with the fall out.

Normal...

Ok what is normal?

The dictionary says normal is - Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type; typical: normal room temperature; one's normal weight; normal diplomatic relations.

So normal is conforming to a norm ... very helpful!

Norm - A standard, model, or pattern regarded as typical: the current middle-class norm of two children per family.

So normal is conforming to a pattern regarded as typical...

Typical - Exhibiting the qualities, traits, or characteristics that identify a kind, class, group, or category: a typical suburban community.

So normal is conforming to the qualities, traits or characteristics of a group.

From that no-one can be "normal" they have to be a normal *something*

Unless you imply i am normal to mean i am a normal person ....
which opens up a whole other bag of questions ....
What is a normal person?

The answer given will probably be "Me"

Link: Beat Government Censorship!
This sounds cool ... but i wonder if the computer leting people access the rest of the net will be vunerable from those using it ...

You scored as Buddhism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Buddhism. Do more research on Buddhism and possibly consider becoming Buddhist, if you are not already. In Buddhism, there are Four Noble Truths: (1) Life is suffering. (2) All suffering is caused by ignorance of the nature of reality and the craving, attachment, and grasping that result from such ignorance. (3) Suffering can be ended by overcoming ignorance and attachment. (4) The path to the suppression of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, which consists of right views, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right-mindedness, and right contemplation. These eight are usually divided into three categories that base the Buddhist faith: morality, wisdom, and samadhi, or concentration. In Buddhism, there is no hierarchy, nor caste system; the Buddha taught that one's spiritual worth is not based on birth. Buddhism 92% Islam 83% Satanism 75% Hinduism 67% Paganism 58% agnosticism 42% Judaism 29% Christianity 25% atheism 21% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

Hehehehe a Buddhist/islamic/satanist :)

Oh, One more thing : FreeCycling!

Anyone else think this is the best solution to landfill?
We should have it everywhere.

Ok better go ... am getting mobbed by someone desperate to read this! :P

Randomness

Having been brought up with a strong influence of paganism and magick, at least on my mothers side it's interesting when contrasting stories of childhood to those who had a 'normal' upbringing. The most influential aspect for me was the Goddess influence, being raised knowing about Her. When I was growing up aspects of womanhood were always explained in a sacred context. It's such a shame how women generally tend to regard their cycles negatively and I wonder if many women would have the same gynaelogical health issues that seem to be so common now if they were able to view their bodies in a positive, sacred way.

I am aware that my mum held back a fair amount though, due to the general stigma surrounding occultism, especially when you add children into the mix, it suddenly becomes a cult case and child abuse. But, the influence and knowledge I was given has been much appreciated, and when I have children I would like to be able to show the same belief options. Also to teach about the natural environment, the wheel of the year and festivals seperate to the Christians ones.

Onto regular news stuff, am all moved in now :) Got an interview on Wednesday, and hopefully this week to chill which is much needed after the month I've had. Would love to be able to write more about this weekend, but it's pretty much not appropriate, suffice to say it's been amazing, and I'm happy.

Wonderful weekend

*crawls from bed*
*gets to computer*
We have had a wonderful weekend together and the best thing about it is that my Lady is not going home tomorrow!
She is already home:)

Prety much everything else has gone out of the window this weekend. Should get back to Work.
Should keep on top of this blog too.. don't want to be like Adriana and let it slide:P
Ok enough for now ..maybe some more later.

One Day!

Ok tomorrow my Lady moves in .....

- Scene Deleted -

I'm sure you didn't want to see me running around shouting all crazy like ...

I can't wait.
I haven't been thinking about much else recently.
Work - progressing slowly.
Job - interesting developments ... all hush hush atm ... ;)
Studies - Have been reading up on Teamwork and building teams recently, looking at it from a few different angles. Will post some of my thoughts when i can eventually collect them and stop thinking about other things ..

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!
- Wren and Stimpy

Nothing Much..

Almost died of laughter earlier...
Monkeysforhelping
The video titled "Rat Shoot Rangers" had me laughing so much i could hardly breathe...
See what you think ... *Bookmarks the page*

Other than that it's been quite a quiet day.

Tower and God particle

I think ths is going to be a short blog .. i have been on a late evening shift and have litle time to the deadline!

So, first up ... Woke up to the sound of a chan-saw .. most disconcerting!
Now we have one less tree in the back garden.

*quietly mourns for the loss of the tree*

But it was getting too dominant and cutting of the light to the other plants ..

Drew the Tower to contemplate today .. most fitting

All things pass and are reborn anew .. destruction heralds re-growth

Link:Scientists look for God
I find this stuff fascinating ..how matter is created from energy and how these exotic particles affect the universe but are undetectable...
Simply fascinating.

Mentors...Motivation and Going The Distance

Was having a think about Orders recently and the hopes that many pin upon joining a group. Everyone in the beginning has lovely ideas of what a group may involve if they have been solitary, and many look upon a group as giving them knowledge, rather than them eventually acquiring it through the Work. Often is the case where there are some members who are not your 'cup of tea' either. I've heard various occultists say different things on that point on both sides of the coin, either work with them-you're not going to like everyone and it is part of the process, or find a group that fits you, you shouldn't have to work with those you don't like. Either are good answers, and some could go endlessly from group to group trying to find the 'perfect' one, or perhaps they just start their own ;)

But the point is, there is one I promise, is we often place hopes upon external influences and then take a knocking when it doesn't quite work out. That's life and all that business, but in the occult world does it make some turn their backs? How about mentors, it seems the same type of circumstances to me as groups, expecting something from another, not realising that the real Work is done alone. That is a pretty lonely realisation, occult life can be very lonely, no one has the same path as you, yours is always a little different, but when you meet someone or people who share the same interests then it can be pretty special, just watch the egos though :)

When the things you placed hopes upon don't work out, how do you stay motivated? For me, when I have had a situation where I've left something behind I've set up a new structure, usually with more in it, being aware that it can be easy to just be in a lull. The experience of leaving a group can be bad enough, and can have all sorts of feelings attached to it, feeling lost in yourself isn't one worth adding to the mix. Then when you look back a little while after you can re-evaluate, but throwing yourself into your Work at the time can be comforting, and it starts to take little twists and turns of its own, smoothing out a new path.

And here's a lil quiz:

You scored as Violent. You are violent. To you there is nothing better than a good spank. You like scratching and biting 'cause that's what people are for. Violent 100% Hot 94% Soft 63% Wet 63% Exciting 31% Sweet 25% Shy 13% Awkward 0% What is your sexual style? created with QuizFarm.com

The World is Mental!

Ok a few links to start off:
Funny sketch of interview
This actually made me fall of my chair!

Phones cause ear dammage!
I'm sure we have all had this happen at one time or another and now its a medical thing!
Patient: Hey, Doc, My ear heeps ringing.
Doctor: Oh, what does it sound like?
Patient: *Hums Nokia tune*

One cool free dl site
Now this site looks prommising and the more people that g there the better it becomes .. Free Tech!! Gotta love it:)

A Great Calvin and Hobbes strip
What can i say ... Calvin and Hobbes rule.

Also on that Found Site


Is beautiful pic .. makes me think of The Fool card ; Innocence on the path

Talking about Tarot:
Link
Link
A Quick look at the Knight of Swords ... my card:)

I have recently been thinking about thinking ... hehehehe a circular sentence if ever i saw one.

But, the more you think of something the more you see it. The more you focus on things the mopre they appear in your life.. Worrying about lack of money will assuredly mean that you will be strugling for money. Insulting and looking down on other people, even only mentaly, will cause more people to get on your nerves and anger you.

The thoughts you have affect the world. The more you concentrate on them the stronget the effect.

Why? I remember reading somewhere the phrase "The World is Mental" which made me laugh so much .. imagining the world running around in a straight jacket ... but seriously the world is made up of the same stuff as us and it's basis is ..... thought energy..Ok we cannot understand all that information directly so we have filters and symbols and a way of percieving the world that we can relate to... But the more we understand, then the more we can see.

This sea of information can be called the astral plane or the Dreaming or a host of other names but it all ammounts to the same thing. Our thoughts are part of the curent and therefore affect the whole.
So next time you have something you want to do think about the goal and sollutions. Don't focus on the problems because if you do then you will end up hitting one wal after another and the biggest irony is ... You put them there!

Goal/Deadline

Note to self - I want an answer to life the universe and everything bu the end of next week. And don't give me any of that 49 crap from hitch-hikers!

Giving yourself a goal and setting a deadline is one of the most effective ways of making something happen. Methods used to achieve that end are ... endless and some work better than others but on the whole the main framework is the goal/deadline.

Although, sometimes, the goal can be an open ended one.
Goal: write this blog
Deadline: 12 midnight

Yee gads! how long? quick write some spraff about anything. what anything? I don't know just write dammit!!
People are depending on you! aaarrghh .. too much pressure!! gonna snap ...
Ach hold on there sonny jim you can take it ... just buckle up your safety pen and get to it.

Ok sorry... A momentary lapse in sanity ... doesn't happen often .. honest ..
Ooohhh a link : Random Note
Just makes me chuckle .. found in Homeymoon haven ... priceless

Appart from that the day has been strange .... day off work due to illness...
studying and practicing a bit of stuff..
Phone chat and funky stuff on the web ..

Yup theres the deadline gotta go .. don't want to miss the boat... I should really put more thought into these posts :)

Fire!

Someone has been playing with their paint programme..

At last

Today I actually have a day off, a day off that does not involve car trips to fetch furniture from the old house, sitting on hold on the phone speaking to people to sort out addresses and new details, or unpacking and re-arranging. Have had a crazy week at work, almost 50 hours, and am pretty much shattered, but did get a nice lie in today. I'm glad I have less than a week before I leave, wanting to be somewhere else really makes a girl impatient. I was never very good at patience either. This weekend, am going to do some clever packing, a fair amount of my temple stuff is already there, but there are some bits left to take, I guess robes are not priority and can wait a month or so till all my stuff gets moved. I think a certain someone shall never have to buy occult/magick books again, reading mine will take quite some time I think:)

Hmmm, other things of interest....my interview has been moved a little, which works out much better, am now guaranteed a day or two to sort myself out and settle in, perhaps even unpack neatly so I don't create an area of chaos that seems to come so naturally.

Someone I know is getting initiated today.....and that brought me back round to pondering that subject, is a favourite of mine. I have had a fair number of initiations myself, and actually none of which were self-initiations which is possibly odd, not sure. So there more initiations someone has, does it change their treatment of it in terms of preparation? Personally, I am all for fasting before hand, and have done so on all my initiations. It is nice if it is possible to be alone as much as can be for a day or so prior. In any case, we have had some interesting topics of conversation this week, from serpents and kundalini, triangles, holy trinities, general symbolism and the 'taking' of an initiation. I think out of all the initiations I have had, the first was the most impactful on my life, my Craft initiation, it started out the path I walk today, and it initiated a Goddess connection. An interesting thing I noticed as well when reading through my magickal diaries, all my initiations have been around Midsummer.

On another note, don't do that personality disorder quiz Ibard put up, it is clearly wrong, I know for a fact I am perfectly normal, and my results were trying to say otherwise :)

Half way between here and the land of Nod

Today was busy busy busy.

then i had a nice chat with Chloe and Claire.
Then an even nicer bath in which i fell asleep.

In some ways i like this feeling of being almost dreaming but still awake..
In others though .. its hard to think straight when you are trying to write a blog... I suppose free association might be an intersesting experiment .. but possibly utter nonsense to anyone else reading ..
oooo downloaded a funky programme today : PhraseExpress

will be playing with that for some time i think
heres my first test :
Test!
Test!
Test!

This is a test!

Do not be allarmed!
hehehe

as for tests I did a little experiment thois morning which turned out quite well ... Will have to repeat and find outmore.

To sleep! perchance to dream:--ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
- Hamlet - Shakespeare

So goodnight to all and to all a good night ... where did that come from?

Smoking and Thinking

I have been thinking recently about smoking and Elemental Fire....

We breathe constaltly, putting us in touch with Air.
We drink regularly; thus Water.
Eating gives us some of the fibre asociatd with Earth .. also being in contact with the ground itself.
But Fire ... we have Heat and sunlight i suppose but smoking is much more direct. ... admittedly it isn't healthy but then neither is living. We all die of it some day:)

K also sent me a good book about Dream Yoga.. very interesting and Thank you K.

It is an area that i working on most nights and this gives me some more directions and ideas.
Know Thyself .. those words keep coming to mind.

Also Within seems to have gotten Quiet recently ... must try to initiate some thought provoking posts ....

Now all i have to do is think ...

Personality disordered!

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizoid Personality Disorder:	Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Antisocial Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Borderline Personality Disorder:	Low
Histrionic Personality Disorder:	Low
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:	Moderate
Avoidant Personality Disorder:	Low
Dependent Personality Disorder:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Low
-- Take the Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Info --

So it is official .. a am moderately disordered:P

I like where it says Magical thinking is schizotypal!
as for Narcisism ... well i care what i look like ... at times ... when it counts..
Some times Impression is everything....
Antisocial ... hmmm well it says moderate so i can't be that dangerous right? :)

For another piece of news : Life Originated in Space!

Apparently these red cells came from a commet and could have been simmilar to ones that started the whole of life off..
Their paper
This has some interesting info in ... unfortunately no news yet on if they actually reproduce .. which would be the big step towards proving life can cross space..

Oh, just one more thing .. Borked! Heehehe this is my newest favorite word ... Am trying to fit it into conversations:)

Getting closer....

Things are progressing well, only 10 more days. Job stuff is looking promising too. Just getting things all tied up this end ready to leave, busy with all my regulars at work trying to get as many treatments in as possible before I go. Will miss some of them, known many for 5 years, almost friends even. But, am all excited for moving, can't wait even, not that I am inpatient of course.

Was thinking today about devotional paths and the relationship one has with their patron Deity, if gender is an issue. Can a woman ever have the same deep, almost closeness with a Deity of the opposite gender to them, and vice versa? Is it more a question and consideration of shadow issues which can influence a particular want/need in the type of way that develops? Do aspects of a Deity eventually fulfill an aspect of the Self, hence new visitations of new aspects of the Divine?

Update

Back again after a lovely chat with my lady.

Feeling better already. I have written before on the pointlessness of comparing yourself with others but my mind is still playing that old game it seems.

At least once it is recognised it can be dealt with.

Just keep in mind that it is a long climb and if you worry about not being atthe top you will never get there.. Also it occurs to me that the old saying "it is the journey that counts, not the destination" has some relevance here .. althought i would argue over the destination being of some import... if you were traveling to the land of make believe faries then the journey would be .... pointless in any case so again it comes down to the journey being the thing.

And whilst on that journey you change and discover and overcome and al the other things you are supposed to do in a "Real" life ... not one spent devoted to the television andwhere you are going next weekend.

Am i comparing there? hmmm, point taken.

well thats my update for now.

The Doldrums

Today has been a strange day ... I am in the doldrums. The wind stopped blowing and the sea went still.
I am sitting in my boat, lost, without direction.
I knew it was comming some time but it still doesn't help:) A time of reflection and introspection.

Reading through my old blogs and my Diary will help me get some focus.

So off i go to work.

Party and rest

Last night was fun. I went to a friend from works wedding reception.

Imagine turning up to a room where there is only the bride that you know... Kinda weird feeling but in the end some more people from work turned up and we had a great time. It was so good that i even ended up drunken dancing... A sure sign that the party was good:)

I remember having many interesting conversations with people but am a little hazy over what the topics were ....
Some were about managing people, relationships, other people, marriage, and Doctor Who (with two very cute little children) I think their mother was glad to have them chirping on at someone else other than her for a while:)

No-one ended up in the fountain.

This morning was spent drinking lots of water and sleeping for almost 12 hours ... I needed some rest!

Ok, a few links for you all:
Panda Porn!
Storm on Saturn - mibi thats why we have all been a little ... out of sorts... changes and all..
Lincoln teaches how to use E-mail. - It goes for all non face to face communication
4 seconds may be too long. - hmm, how long does this page take to load?

Witch School-a public face of Wicca

Witchschool.com is an online Wiccan, pagan, magickal training programme, though it now has a physical campus. The idea is based around a mentor system and a degree structure with clergy, yep clergy and there's badges and everything. The tradition it teaches is Correlian. Anyways, I am not here to promote them, you can find out what they do easily enough, am just going to rant a lil about what is wrong with them and how it reflects upon Wicca as a whole.

Any new religion, and Wicca is only over 50 years old, is going to change, adapt and mould. It is pretty difficult to see though now, what Wicca really is. Not many Wiccans know either. A big appeal of Wicca is the devotional aspect that emphasises self development, perhaps the bigger appeal though is that compared to main stream religions it is very unstructured. Undoubtedly that's a good thing, but it doesn't take too long before people have developed their path so much it doesn't resemble Wicca at all and yet that is how they identify themselves. I shouldnt care, but it does give serious practioners of Wicca a bad name (though I personally don't/can't identify myself as Wiccan any longer). Some may go as far to say as the only 'real' Wiccans are Gardnerians. If you take a look at Witchvox and do a search for traditions there is just a crazy amount and after 5 minutes of reading through them it won't be long until you realise why Wicca isnt taken seriously anymore. Which brings us back round to Witchschool, a public face of Wicca, from the amount of press coverage it has been enjoying of late. Their personal press releases don't help matters, from the school being likened to Hogwarts. That kind of comparison, Wicca can do without, it is plenty hard enough already for the public to not equate Wicca to a fantasy based path.

But, it is really the way Witchschool goes about things, and much of that boils down to the issue of Wicca being a Mystery Tradition, or at least it was. These kinds of paths are not for everyone, there has always been some king of filtering process. Witchschool prides itself on training anyone, for a fee of course. Therefore, all kinds of people become a representation of the religion, as well as those who are able to pass multiple choice questons who then get to become clergy and have degree badges. But, I guess there was a gap waiting to be filled of 13 year old High Priests. It is certainly a worry for those who may put trust in these on-line trained High Priests and Priestesses, the skills learnt and developed in pagan paths are not from online reading and multiple choice.

There's a ton of other stuff that is wrong with Witchschool and the set-ups that will undoubtedly follow, but neither will there be a perfect tradition or religion for that matter. It's not the religion that I have a problem with, I love Wicca infact, is just the Wiccans I guess and the mess that's gettin made. Hopefully though, Wicca will evolve into something beautiful again, and the Harry Potter types will move on soon enough.