Fire! Flats and People Watching

One day left until I subject myself to the cruel and unusual punishment of NaNoWriMo.
I wonder if i truly understand what i have decided to try .... It ain't going to be pretty but at least i can write complete crap without having to worry about re-editing. There will simply be no time!

Things not to have hgappen to you when in the dark trying to light a bonfire:

• Your torch stops working
• The wind blows out the candles
• Your lighter decides to play silly buggers
• The rain completely soaked your long burning wood
• the nice quick burning wood gives of enough acrid smoke to make your head spin
• Your Seat keeps sinking in the mud
• You almost loose your hair to the blaze
• You forgot the marshmallows
  

Well even after that i had a nice blaze for a while and sat down for a few beers and toasted the dead ... At least the moon came out to help me find my way around otherwise i might have been calling for help from the middle of a Bramble Maze.
Over all - partial success and enough lessons learned to make the next attempt more successful

Other happenings today:

Found a flat. Simple and easy. Knock and you shall be answered, ask and you shall recieve.

Met the Ex for lunch, The conversation went something like"I'm fine, Were better as friends, I'm happy you found someone else, Be sure before you move in."
Well I'm sure as sure can be and maybe a little more:) Things have a way of working out don't you think?

Reading: People Watching by Vernon Coleman

Interesting. I like the act of People watching and do it whenever i get the chance. Nice to see that I'm not alone:)

Hmm not too cryptic today i feel...I must add something more metaphorical...

Oh yes, Smoking is a Bitch .. it always creeps up on you and pounces at the worst time...
You never get over it. I am Smokings Bitch. *Bark bark*

Have you ever noticed how some people keep eating food that they know is no good for them just because they like the taste? Or it comforts them?
Addictions are hard things to master and they Lurk unsen when beaten, only to creep up on you again.
If only we could tell ourselves that these things are bad ... but we still insist that they are good...even against out own experience...

Anyway enough ... catch you round.

Writing and the Internet

Ok first off in the month of november i will be trying to write a story for NaNoWriMo .
It sounds like it will be a bit of a laugh and possibly hard work at the same time ... we will see :)

Ok for anybody who thought that the Internet was our modern day version of the Tower of Babel ...

• Trouble for the internet

Ah well lets see how it rides out the storm.

Quick Fix?

News links:

• Suicude rates at lowest
• Free speech on the internet?
• Googles answer
• Irrepressible.info
• Tower of Babel

Just a few pieces of news that stood out for me this weekend.

I have been thinking about how most modern day fixes are about stopping the symptoms and not really dealing with the cause.
Ok it may be harder to work out the cause and more work getting to the root and addressing it but in the long run you save time and energy by not going over the same ground again and again..

My lady and I are looking round for a place to live. That's going to be wonderful; waking up together each morning. But first to find the place..

Hmmm.. is there a word to sum up hopeful longing with a dash of impatience?
How about Yearning ... that seems to sum it up..

and one more link for a chuckle:
who needs crimewatch?

Honey, what's life?

So honey, what happened today?

Not much sugar-pumpkin. Went to work. Came home. Saw you. Had dinner. Watched film. Went to bed.

Who could live a life like that? I think I'd go mad .. if i wasn't already.
Calvin and Hobbes! nothing to do with the theme, just fun.

What are the basic necessities of life?
Urban Dictionary Definition
Kabbalah Definition
And one to sum up what i couldn't put into words

Life and Love

Today was another fine day.
As many of them are.
decided to look for a new place...
Got an internet phone ... cheep calls to landlines and the US and free to other internet phones!
Dog being bad ... eating out of the bin ... heh i caught him and gave him such a shock he fell of the table!

Hmmm i have 2 requests for a topic today ... Love and Codes ...
How about love is a code? or ... loving codes ...hmmm or how about writing about love in a code ...
But on reflection Love is a complicated enough subject as it is...
So i will go to the greek words for love; Agape, Eros, Philia and Storge.

Agape: Unconditional love, divine, general afection or concern, self sacraficing, giving love to all, intelectual love.

Eros: Pasionate love, sensual desire and longing, apreciation for the beauty within.

Philia: Virtuous love, friendship, dispassionate, loyalty to friends and family, wanting the best for them not you.

Storge: Familial love, natural affection as between parent and child, emotional connection.

hmmm ... AEPS comparable to AFEW ?

ok enough for now .. will ponder more at some other time.

Life is a story

It does seem that life in general tends to get in the way of me writing this blog each day and i have to play catch up a lot of the time ...I haven't set a particular time for writing so it tends to happen when the mood takes me and i'm sure you can see that it doesn't always take me very far .. She is a fickle mistress, writing.

Monday: Early morning to see Adriana off. Spent the rest of the day in a semi-daze of sleepiness. Thats my excuse for not writing yesterday .. not very strong i know and it wouldn't stand up in court but, hey, you're not going to sue me are you??

Tuesday: Spending most of the day reading and writing. Thinking and learning..

I have been thinking about comparing peoples lives to stories and how the main elements of stories relate to them.

Theme: The belief and way in which the world is viewed.. Affecting everything that you do. The underlying curent of your existence.

Plot: All the things that happen in your life and how you respond. The choices you make and the results that follow.

Conflict: A big interest in any good story is the interaction of the character against whatever is set against them. As so in life; without conflict you have nothing to push aginst or strive for.

Setting: Where you are and what is happening in the world around you. How this affects you and what you feel towards it.

Character: You. Everything that has made you what you are and everything that you are aiming for. As with a story, in life if you have no good sense of the character then it can all seem meaningless.

All of these parts have to be balanced in a good story and too much concentration on one can disrupt the rest. A lack of another can also reduce the story to a bunch of words on a page.

Character developmentis an issue i have been mulling over. Without some change in the character in the story, some lesson learned or obsticle overcome it is very hard to see it as any more than a description of events rather than a story.
If we were constantly reacting based on our past we would never change and remain the same throuought our adult life. I feel that understanding the how's and why's of us and using that knowledge to develop is one of the main purposes of life. Indeed it may be the only one, but i will not go so far as to sugest i think i know the answer to life:)

Dogs, Mud and Creativity

Another day where i wake up at noon..

Heh, almost lost the dog today .. he pulled a fast one and doubled back on me ...Found him in the brook about 10 minutes later rolling around in the mud ... Good dog.. not.


Ok, one of the messiest jobs in the world is cleaning your dog.. no matter what you do the crap gets everywhere.

You Are 92% Happy

It's unlikely that you know anyone happier than you. You know how to be happy, no matter what life throws at you.

How Happy Are You?

Have been looking around the internet for more filler posts ...I really should get some thinking down on this blog otherwise it will tur into a cut and paste board which is completely deviod of any original content...
And that is writing nothing at all but with extra work involved ...What would be the point in that?

If something raises an idea it could be incorporated into the blog as the origin of the idea..
I think with all my studying that i am doing i have left little time for more creative thinking ... hmmm must find some kind of optimum.

I keep coming back to the idea of creativity coming from a fountain within myself.. the things i see and hear get taken in and mixed up in the cooking pot of my mind. Then newer ideas spring forth ready to be looked at and utilised ...

Now i realy have to go to bed otherwile i'll be a zombie tomorrow..

River front

Today i recieved more post! Yay!
Now i have a nice couch to lounge around on:) Actually i fell asleep on it earlier and almost missed meeting some1 up town!
Today I have come to the conclusion that so many people have different definitions of the same words that I may have to set some kind of standard up..The IBardionary.





Went for a little walk and found a nice place to sit by the river.
Will try to find some time to draw a bit there.
have to do some work on my sercet book as well tomorrow ...

Nice lazy day

Yup Holiday Time has caught up with me already:)
Today was a lazy day .. Lie in .. mooch about the house.
Have a coffee.. Watch a film or two: Resident Evil and Alien Versus Predator
Read ...doodle .. go shopping
Meet up with Julie... dinner..
More chilling and chatting ...

Nice day:)

You Are 36% Pure

You've either done it, thought about it, or at least heard about it. Luckily, there's a few things left for you to try!

How Pure Are You?

Surely not? I'm good i am .. honest! Got the halo and everything to prove it ... I just left it lying around over here somewhere....

Yeah, yeah; leave me be :)

Ach so i missed a few days ...
Sue me! :P
Well i kinda got into the habit of staying up too late reading etc and just not DOing ..

Anyway here i am after getting a kick up the behind from Sux..
So i last wrote on Thursday ..
Friday : Work went well ..I think i have made my point:) Was going to go out for a drink with a friend but they had to cancel. Watched Matrix revolutions.

Saturday: Work was excelent because i knew that this was my last day for a week!

Don't ya just love holidays?? :) Was supposed to meet up with friends tonight aswell but had a major headache from lack of sleep so canceled and had a kip ... Watched Dawn of the Dead (2004 version) .. Gotta love a good Zombie film:)

I don't know about you guys but have you ever watched a zombie movie and thought that you were one of the survivors and all the sleepers around you were the zombies?
If not then i'll just go put my straight jacket back on and sit in the corner... :P

Sunday : Spent the whole morning asleep .. damn i needed that! Rerad up on yogic sleeping .... K has some good info in his noggin if you can get around all that goat stuff :)

Project Secret Book Part2 :

Hmm need a better title for that .. But anyway it is still there .. still untouched and ready to be made mine. All i have to do is hollow it out and put a few things in it to make it truly mine.

Actually went out with friends today:) Played cards, got drunk, had a laugh, caught up with a few things and met Chloe's new flatmate.. seems an interesting bloke.

Monday : Today goes to show why i should not go up town with money! :)
I went up to return a Library book and get a haircut and imediately found myself in a cd/dvd shop ... now I have another zombie film to watch and a funky cd to rock to..
Also bought a book : the Mind Gym

Looks very interesting and .. practical which was the main selling point.
So now i am on 'holiday time' and do not have to obey the rules of sleep ... interesting :)

Post box: Still awaiting 2 items in the mail .. grr damned posties hurry up!

I'll set Stitch on you!! I will, don't make me do it!

"Bark Bark! Let the Lord of Chaos Rule!"

Ball!!

OK a recap on my rubber band ball...
It was :














Now it's :



Progress i think ....

Today was calmer .. I think either the shit hit the fan or they realised that i was not going to dance to their ridiculous tempo..
Either way i'm happy

... night

No Milk please I'm British

I have no idea what to write today ...
Work was busy ... less staff more work ....
presure and tempers rising ... I stayed as calm and detached as i could .. although i think that just wound others up ... but that is their decision not mine.

You Have A Type B+ Personality

You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

I think that sums it up..
Also it's far to late to be awake but i'm still here typing away and reading stuff..
Am thinking of cutting out milk from my diet i think it might have a neg affect ..
Will have to start having black coffee ...
Ok thats a go for tomorrow then.
Cya and take care

Seeker Me!

Today was a wonderful day. OK most days off are wonderful:) But this one more so..
I had another piece of post today that makes 2 out of 4. Now i have another book to read! heheh
Returned a Shite book to the library - again- and picked up 2 new ones they sem promising.. - yes that's right MORE books...
Well I just love reading. As long as i do something practical with what i learn then thats ok.
And practical i was today. Project Secret Book leapt forward with a giand Bound today.. I found where it is and started to make it mine... There are a few tests i have to do and next week will be the big ones but so far what i have found is very promising ... yes i know its cryptic but thats the point :P

Hmm I have also been thinking more about gardening/ forrestry as a metaphor for cultivating your mind and spirit. Perhaps that was a reflection on Zen gardens ... but my metaphor had a little more colour .. so not realy very Zen :)
But then again having a Zen garden part of the whole garden where you can go to meditate is ...a good optimum i think..

Also i went on a net search for little things to ammuse myself with ... what is it with surveys that are so interresting? Anyway this is one that i did today :

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges. You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions. Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist. Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!). Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others. And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you. You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically. Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas. Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Sounds kinda accurate i suppose:) .. also :

You Are 45% Left Brained, 55% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

cool almost balanced :P

Books and books

After deleting my blog by accident i am forced to again write it...
But how can i re-write what was once written? It has gone, never to return.
I will not be able to re-capture those words again and if i copy from memory what i thought i wrote they would be but faint shadows of their former selves.

Anyway Chaos hapenend at work today... everything was reorganised for the new season. No-one knew where anything was and 'I' am supposed to help everybody?? hehehe ... Head office likes to give us stuff to do...

But on the plus side Adriana's book arrived today: Modern Magick by Kraig
Thank you again Adriana, i think i will be reading this one a lot.
Along with the ones Kherux sent me and all the others i have been buying... oh boy
So now thatleaves me with 3 more items in the post.. wonder when they will come ...

Onto other news: Project Secret Book might be moving on to the next level tomorrow.. It's all a bit hush hush but i'll see what i can pass on to you guys when and if ...

Also one piece of advice .. if you make a promise ...be sure you are ready for the consequences.

Touch typinf?

Missed yesterday.
Not a lot happened anyway.
I think i have spent most of my Pay check already and it has only been a few days ... scarry how money dissapears.. but then it was earmarked for certain things and had to be spent.
I am going to try touch typing for a while, see how much difference it will make. Also something new to learn. Handy as well. slower than normal, but i think that the training will ultimately pay off.
OK, today i have been doing chill out stuff .. reading writing ... chatting ..
Things for Within, well a little...
Walked my dog. Just mundane stuff today but i caried round a feeling of connectedness.. existing now rather than thinking of then and when...

It is pointless and dammaging to compare yourself with others for you will always get a relative answer without knowing the true position of the two points.

"Powerful improvements are underway. Follow the example of the sage and assist others sincerely. All good comes when we are innocent."

Music is Music

This is a beautiful day
It is a new day
We are together, we are unified
And all for the cause
Because together we got power
Apart we got power

Today on this program you will hear gospel,
And rhythm and blues, and jazz
All those are just labels
We know that music is music

- Primal Scream "Come together" /uk album edition

Ok the lyrics by themselves will not get the feeling over but they really picked me up this morning.

I have been thinking about climbing that mountain again .. At the moment i think i have set up camp. Waiting for the sherpa's to arrive ... I might have to go on alone, they have not come yet.

Today i had a nice example of how the universe supplies your needs, sometimes even beforeyou knew that you had that need. All I had to do was ask and i got more than expected.
Freedom is never really freedom... just freedom from "Something".
Fate would laugh if he heard us talking of our free will..
Yes you have it, he would reply, but you have chosen to follow strict rules and laws. You have run from the field of the world to your small homesteads. Hiding from the sky and the emptiness within.

I'm going to go and play outside now, see ya later

I Love Post!

Don't you just love getting things through te mail?
I don't mean bills and junk mail ... they aren't post .. just crap thrown through your door .. i mean actual post that you really want.
As you may have figured I got some of that today; A few books sent by Kher, Thanks mate.
I will be up too late tonight reading some of those books.
Again i getthe feeling that i have too much to learn in too little time .. but one step at a time is how you travel...
So what is my next step? :)
Well for now i will concentrate on what i have been doing and wait for an opportunity to arrise, a direction to show itself .. as it were ...
Need to write another short story aswell..
One day i will put a few of these together..
so off i go to write, take care now and try not to get addicted to writing, she's a hard mistress.

Fume and Forget

Ever had one of those days where you wish you could be in two places at once? split yourself down the middle and get on with both things you need to do?
Well today I didn't feel like that but others certainly wished that i could... You can never please all the people all the time ... so ... Whats the point in trying hey?

Well at least I know how to "Fume and Forget" Sounds like a fancy military toy doesn't it? heh well its more my phrase for feeling what you aew expreiencing and bringing it to yur full attention then dealing with it .. and .. letting it go ..

Started reading my 'possibly shite' library bok now .. it's a lot of background stuff and no real info but i will see what i can glean from it .. my holistic learning idea needs a test :)
Everything has something of value even though it may not be evident until you learn more. Some ideas are Keystones holding a recoglisable system together and others are bridges or supports .. and some day you can step back and look at it as a whole and see what you have been searching for.
- Just an Idea ...

Writing is a bitch

I'm stuck for something to write but write i must. If i stop for this excuse then i will stop for another.
To persivere is the only way to break though a block and persivere i shall.
But it would be so much easier to just leave it to tomorow. Put the load down and rest... sleep here and wait for the morning ..
When morning comes who is to say that i shall want to write? and so it will wait another day.
And writing lurks. It waits round the corner... Ready to jump out and begg you to restart your relationship. Clawing at your leg as you try to walk away, you end up draging it down the street..
Please come back to me please ....
I'll be good .... whatever you want ...
But you know as soon as you pick up that pen again it will be off with someone else inspiring them and leaving you feeling hollow dejected and worthless ..
Damned bitch, did it again... got me interested and strung me along only to drop me again..
I realy should have wrote somethiung tonight but this wil have to do ..
All things are p[roceeding at their wn pace and i'm being patient

Freedom of spirit

What a lovely day off!
well most days off are lovely but this one was especially good.
I guess i just woke up in the right mood:)
There is something about a beautiful ass that just makes everything OK ...
anyway, enough about that what else happened today ..
Went to the library to return a shite book and get another which may be equally shite... you never know until you read them do you?
What else .. Oh yes found my old book on Qigong after Kher mentioned it in one of his posts ... always seems to know the right thing to say :)
Thats another thing i'm going to have to get into ...
So many things so few brain cells ..
I have been thinking for the last few days how completely free i am at the moment..
I could go anywhere, just go and be able to depend on myself alone.
Thats a strong feeling.
Back to today I went to Worcester to see Kev today and he is doing well. I took him book shopping ... a dangerous thing to do if you are on a budget but i have almost no money so i couldn't overspend! Found him a Teach yourself Meditation book ... Nice practical step by step giude to chilling out the mind and listening to the inner you ... It seemed a clear non dogmatic book so i think he will enjoy it .. Its al verry well telling him what he can do but i think he needs something to reference to and explore at his own pace if he is really going to get into it.
Ok enough for now.. Someone is really Jonesing for this blog.. no names ...

Catch up

Ok i have 3 days to catch up with ...
I'll just put down the outstanding things..
Rich and his gf went to a theme park and had their keys phones and handbag stolen...
They bought a brand new mini tank like pickup.
And insist on showing it off. I just think it's a bit soon to get financially dependent on each other .. but thats just me..
Kev is in hospital for some checkups/ new drug testing ...
I think i'll go and see him tomorow and catch up. Talking on the phone is ok but seeing him will be better. Get to catch up and give him a bit of support
Project: Secret Book.
Finnished! now i can hide all manner of goodies in here and no1 will know !! Bwaaahahahahaha...
*cough*
Well, everything but my Ball fits in .. hmm...

Two of our rats died this week so we had a little burial.
The I Ching study is going well. Generally a lot of advice about modesty and centering and non-action.
Really should get into chat and actually talk to the Within Crew ...
Cyas