Thursday, September 28, 2006

Kings and Charts

All Hail the King of Myspace! well ok mibi not the king but at least i whupped it's ass finnaly after battling with it for ages .... my site looks a little like i want it to be.
Enough for me to accept it anyway:)
but it's really there for a contact site rather than a show off site ..
This is my main home*strokes the nice Bloggspot.com*
With my twin-site One story that is.

OK to preserve my sanity Adriana ..... :

Now everyone can see who i truly am ... well ....mibi not hey? :)
Enough for tonight i have a steak waiting....

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Tree of Life

Notes and Chaos

A few things of note today ..
I actually tried the I Ching and was pleasantly surprised at the results. It generaly came down to "Shush and listen to your guide" and to practice Love, Faith and Correctness to others..
Also two things i realised today ...my Vertigo has a source and now i can deal with it.
My need to be in control had a source, and i think i'll have to explore that.

On to lighter things ......


Now this is the most Major Agent of Chaos in my life right now! :)
If you see this Being, Known to the Iluminated as "Stitch"
Then run!
Just run...
You do not want to be left in the wake of His passing.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Photo's and Steak


Ok this is my Brother Kevin. Look at that beard!!
with that he looks older than me!


The book i am trying to read at the moment, if people would give me a little time to turn a page!


And the music i am listening to atm.
Just felt like posting a few pictures.
I think i am developing a habbit because i bought some more steak today and i really can't wait to cook it. Can you be a steak junkie??


As an asside I think i am a little frivolous on this blog .. maybe i should try to add a few thoughtful insights ... Maybe some reflections on the book i am reading when i get the chance...

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Rock and Peace

Saturday: Rock!
Got home from work in time to have a quick wash and change and go out to see my brothers band play.
First time i have seen him in action and i think he did really well.... The truth is thought that hje could play a lot better but the band he is with is limithing him i feel ... but he seems to enjoy it and i'll respect him enought to let him go his own way .... Looking after your youngest brothers is hard sometimes :)
The other bands to play werte closer to profesional level especially the last band ... kind of Metallica-esque but different enough to be original and have their own sound..
We all had a lot of fun jumping around and making complete fools of ourselves:)


Sunday: Peace
A nice calm reflective day so far. Have been reading up on the idea of Tikkun and how to use the past to discover who you are now. Also how to deal with issues in your subconcious and reclaim energies you once used to limit yourself ... All good stuff. Also Recapitulation/ Magical memory idea ..
Funny how i get a book on how your upbringing gives you certain issues and what you can do to address them and then i read about the Kabbalistic aproach to thisaswell ...hmmm synchronicity ..

oh one more thing ... the ex has decided to get together with my other brother .. i can only hope all goes well for them.


-Forgive others their mistakes, for they have only done the best they could at that time. Forgive your own mistakes, but do not forget. The lessons you fail to learn will be replayed untill you do.

- Just a thought ....

Friday, September 22, 2006

Nikkid!

Ok today i added a link to my hometown, Evesham for anyone who wants to have a look at the lovely place i live.
Had the longest hottest bath ever :) Just good to relax and chill.
Sat around Nikkid for a while. I don't mind who reads this i bet they feel the same! in your own space just being free of clothes feels natural and liberating.


Other things? Work was work. Still thinking about Ip Goodfellow. he will have his own story some time .. jsut have to find one for him.
hmmm, going to try some more adventures in dreamland ...
Ok, i'll share a little meditation i did today .... Just imaging dark blue sea around me and letting myself sink into my deep thoughts ... really effective.
Enough for now or i'll be here all night ... catch you round

Thursday, September 21, 2006

My mistake!

Bahh! Who's responsibility was it to set the alarm?
Which fool forgot and then made us late for work?
Which complete moron had us rushing eveything this morning so his hair looked like a dandilion??


Oh me?
hmmm, ok an honest mistake :)
Asside from that i have had a good evening since coming home .... some wonderful post, interesting reading and a laugh and a half in the chatroom ..tomorrow will be quieter ... may catch up on some of my projects here.
Oh and i think i have been short of iron lately .. the reason i have been craving red meat? maybe ....
something to look into.


Haven't been dream working lately ... spending too much time up and not focusing on a good nights sleep ...
Well sometimes other things intrude
Just the way it is...
well thats enough for tonight. Gotta go meet Morpheus ...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Adventures in Cooking

Sirloin Steak ....
Plus Wok ...
Plus Heat ..

Ok first atempt at cooking my own steaks worked out nicely
Was hankering for Meat all day .. just had to have some ... weird how it can hit you that waas some times .. but i know my body knows what it needs .. so
I got a beautiful rare steak mmmm juicy.
Not much else done today .. just reading , searching the internet and chatting ..
running out of time in the day..
need to prioritise some things ....
Plan for tomorrow.

Also i think Ip the Imp has been born ... just a cheeky little thing no harm in him but ... he does love to play around...
Thinking in story form ... i have a goal for my dreams tonight ...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Last Night and Another good day!

Last Night
Curry, Lager, chat..
Emma, Chloe and Darren and kept me entertained for the night whilst phycho Leach was at the other end of the table.
After meal Me chlo and Emma chatted for hours back at Chloes. Good night.

Another good day!
I seem to be having a lot of them recently...
Library - the book i ordered came through..
Saw a book called "They F*** You Up - how to survive family life" By Oliver James
With a title like that i had to borrow it :)
Walked the dog ... sounds like a chore but ..... its amoment of silence in a day where i can walk through the orchards and fields and feel ... Peaceful centred ....
Then a Call from Adri; Magick ... LBRP, life and the universe etc...

Bought a new CD ... might get the cover on here tomorrow... funky tunes..
The best Syndicated Comic strip in newspapers today!
Suxor is having so much trouble getting Yahoo and MSN talking to each other :) he's all thumbs with tech :)

Don't ask me where it came from ... GorillaRabbit

Monday, September 18, 2006

If this day was a Lager...

...It would be the best damned Lager there is! :)
First had a strange but fascinating dream, then got woken up with the best wake up call i've ever had :)
Work went swiftly, and I didn't get even the slightest grumble about being off for those 2 days last week..
Also LBRP went well ... first time; needs work but felt reasonable for a newb like me:)
Day off tomorrow and a night out with friends tonight ..
Oh plus I bought a Webcam of my own so i can snap happy without looting anyone elses tech. Hah this is so fun playing with this thing :P
A Lovely Bath. Some meditation to come and mibi a little drawing ..


Then i'm out for a friend's Birthday meal .. Curry :)
And Lager...
Mucho Funko!

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Quietude

A nice quiet day both in mind and body.
Spoke to Lil, poor think sounds like she's really ill ...
Did some more scouting round the internet .. found a wonderful site about an artisk called "Banksy" this one piece really hit me though:
Banksy:The Tramp


Thinking of my stories again. always thinking.. what was the advice? Don't think, DO!
O.K.
Point taken.
More secrets posted, just gotta love that site...
Within is down ..
Up at 6 tomorrow.. back to work, well at least i have recovered.

Thats just silly

ok well today became tomorrow and i am still up..
I think that my cold has left me now ..
An interesting night .. interesting indeed!!

ok .. i think i have time for some silliness:

Beaker from the Mupets!!

Just call me IBard Warholl

I'm either a Turnip or .. Carrotman?

And Sketchy me ..

Now i'm going to think of something meaningful to write next to make up for all this frivolity .. but untill then .. I just have to chuckle :)
Oh and one more thing (as the Great detective Columbo says) :
Youtube-Matrix meets MTV
I know it's old and everything but it just makes me Crack every time..

Friday, September 15, 2006

My Rubber Band Ball

Today i was so bad i actually called in sick.
It takes a lot to do that to me so i'm taking it easy...


Oh well this evening turned out to be wonderfull .. nice relaxing rest and stimulating chat seems to have done me wonders. Still taking tomorrow off .. I can't risk throwing away the recovery i have made.

And because i know you want to see:

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The downward spiral

I need a BREAK.
I need sleep...
I need a new head.
This one isn't working so well any more

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Work work work and more of the same!

Tuesday: Work, work, work and then chat chat chat .. then collapse ..
Start of a bad cold taking energy to fight..
Sniffle sniffle.. :)


Wednesday: More of the same and met Chloe and Claire for a few drinks.Nice chat, yadda yadda yadda.. still dont know what to get chlo for her birthday though ...
Haven't seen or heard from my Ex for a whole week! I was expecting some trouble but it seems she has decided to let me go after all. This is a relief :)
Project Secret Book:

Coming along nicely i think :)

Monday, September 11, 2006

Frazzled

Spent most of today wandering around Worcester shopping.
Did a lot of meditation aswell today feeling a little frazzled from it ...
I think i'll take it easy tomorrow.
Later people, take care.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Payday, Wasted and recovery!

Ok have been off since Thursday ..
Friday: Payday.
Bought essentials. Also got new clothes and a new Phone. A funky one i can connect to my computer and play mp3's on. Still got to learn how to use everything

Project: Secret Book
ok i'm giving away a secret here but i am curently making a hollow book so i can keep secret things in .. I don't kniow what i'm going to put in there yet but it will be cool to have a secret hidey hole.
Hey, call me immature if you want. You may have a point but i bet you want one too, don't ya?
I'll tell you what, if your nice i might even take a few pics of it as it's coming along.
Saturday:Wasted!
Oh boy, after work i went out to see if i could find any of my old friends who i used to go out drinking with. Now, I haven't been out with friends in some time But tonight i bumped into some pals from work and we went out on the town.
I'll tell you now, Vodka and red bull is the best drink ever!
Sunday:Recovery :)
I didn't feel too bad, just dehydrated so i ate lots of fruit and drank lots of water .. plus coffee by the boat load...
Also today decided to do Cross aswell as Daily meditation.
We shall see what my experiments bring. Oh yes and i have to try and find something to do to mark the coming Equinox ....
Just to add ...Adria and Iona are being mean :) they know what i'm on about!

Ok tomorrow i am going to try and go to worcester or cheltnam for a shopping expedition...
Also go to this site and post a secret ...
Secrets

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Need sleep and Too much to learn

No word from my Ex today. This is a good thing.
Tired today... not a lot of sleep yesterday.
I have been feling like a zombie all day.
No dreams recalled last night... cefinite sign of lack of sleep.
My favorite site is down aswell.
More meditation today. At the moment it is doing a wonderful job of calming and focusing my mind.
Pay day tomorow. I think i have already spent most of it!
Early night tonight so i can write another entry in my dream diary.
Oh and i have too many things to learn...
2 more subjects to add to the list : Hebrew alphabet and Poetry
Take care now

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

No more Love and Back to school.

Today i have a more traditional diary entry to post.

No more Love
Today my Ex tried to get back together with me .. using any and all ways she could think of.

Now, if i wasn't expecting something like this i may have given in to a small concession ... say go on a date or go for a drive.... But the slippery slope always starts somewhere and i know that it would inevitably return to where we were before.

So i said no, no, no and no again. Then i had to use the one truth i was trying to keep from her.... I no longer love her.. I care ... but i will no longer be manipulated .. and the only reason i don't just use her and leave her hanging on for sex is because i care and i know she would do better on her own .. or even with someone else .. she is very dependant .. Also just using her for sex would end up getting tied into more anyway ... she has a habbit of drawing more out of you than you wanted to give ...
AAAArg! Leachy psychic vampire lady!

So i stood my ground, and couldn't help but feel wretched afterward. But i know it is better this way ... And if she decides to hate me ... so be it, if that's what she needs.

- So, can i get of this couch now, Doc?

Back to School

Asside from the ameteur dramatics, I have added another blog link to my slowly growing web.. This one is a bunch of self help ideas and i find some of them fascinating ... One this person had was to plan some time each week as if you were at school ... Maths lessons , your own P.E. class, maybe learn a new langage, listen to different music read a Classic book .. and i can see that idea being quite productive. It folows on from the number one must do thing - keep a daily planner.

what would my sylabus look like?
Monday: Literature, Art, Lunch, Kabbalah, Altered states of conciousness
Tuesday: Music appreciation/ creation, Mathematics(logic and mental arythmetic), Lunch, Meditation, Nordic Runes
Wednesday: German, English Lit., Lunch, Afternoon off - Night: Lucid Dreaming
Thursday: P.E.(cross country Dog walking), I.T.(exploring the internet), Lunch, Tarrot, Healing
Friday: Design(building stuff), Science(making stuff go boom), Lunch, Visualisation, Rituals.
Heh, Hogwarts meets Evesham High :)

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Funny thing, Humor.

It struck me today that I have no real understanding of what humor is.
Why do I laugh? Why do i like to laugh? Why do i find some things funny and others not?

To quote; The Secret Life Of The Brain
"Analyzing the physiological manifestation of laughter reveals striking similarities to seizures and even to some types of epilepsy."
Now that sounds like some scary stuff. But we still do not understand it fully...

I have been told that humor may be a self defence mechanism that protects the mind from the horrible tragedies that occur in life.
Also that it was a relief reaction after danger had passed .... removing all the fight/flight emotions and therefore linked to safety and bonding.
The more you laugh the more you bond .. and thus laugh more.
Another theory that i proposed was that this whole world is one big joke and that humor and laughter is the only rational responce to it...... i'm sure i have picked that up from somewhere but cannot remember the source atm.

Many reasons .. all mixed together.. All i really know on the subject is that it makes me feel good and i like it :)
So i'm going to keep on doing it, ok? :)

Monday, September 04, 2006

Strange day

What to write? In making a promise to myself to write every day i have put great pressure on my creative side. I have to think and articulate a subject on demand.

I find it very strange how we can hide our own feelings from ourselves. If i feel it then i should know it. But evidently i do not wish to know it and therefore it is ignored.
I am begining to think that my subconcious is only the parts of me that the Ego doesn't want to acknowledge.

The shadow grows stronger as the ego becomes more dominant. The thing is, I can be the ego and act self important. The trick is sometimes to remember that i am not the ego.
I can be the detatched mind, understanding the proceses and forces within.

But this subconcious, this beast .... I have sepparated it from myself. Even whilst understanding that it is a part of me, I cannot accept it as part of me.

Thus i have halved myself. I have given it my most powerful tools, all except command.
It has Rage, Passion, Ambition, Seduction. And i have given away the keys because i have been taught that these things are wrong.

And so they are, if used unwisely. Which is why children are told these things. But i am no longer a child and will no longer be a sheep.

It is time to wake up.
It is time to accept that which is within.
It is time to reclaim my shadow.
It is time to become all that I am.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

A New Beginning

As a friend of mine has found out it is very hard to keep up a blog unless you have a very good reason for it so i shall have to find one to keep this going, otherwise it is just a waste of time.

One reason is that i am recording my daily events so that i can look back at a later date and see patterns and remember things.

Another would be that i am writing this for anyone who would wish to read some of the thoughts that i am willing to share with the general public..
That leads to another question entirely ... how much .. and where is the line to be drawn?

How about this .. each day i will write 4 things down, roughly coresponding to the 4 levels of reality
1 Objective
2 Subjective
3 Symbolic
4 Holistic

well i can give it a go anyway.